The other day I had lunch with an old friend. We hadn’t seen each other in nine months.
Within five minutes of being together, he said, “I have a proposition for you. I’ll let you keep my speakers and hammock if you let me use your car tomorrow to pick up my boyfriend at the airport.”
I fell silent.
There were a rush of things that ran through my head but mostly I immediately felt my answer was no.
I wasn’t happy with the thought of being left without my car for 5 hours (the airport is a 2 hour drive each way), the inability to go to two events I had planned, and the risk that something may happen to the car. But that wasn’t totally it.
It was the energy about how this was presented to me. It didn’t feel right.
Normally I’m very generous with my things and wouldn’t think twice about helping a friend out, but this request didn’t land well.
So I stayed quiet and kept assessing my feelings when my friend came back with “Well, I just thought it would only be fair because of all the times I let you borrow my scooter last year.”
My jaw dropped. Tears rolled down my face. And I realized in that moment why my heart was telling me no.
The energy of which he came at me. Expecting. Leveraging. Manipulating.
In a way, it was hurtful.
Instead of just asking. Just looking me in the eye as a dear friend and asking me for a favor. AND, being willing to hear the answer and respecting it.
I realized then that we had grown in two different directions. Operating at two different vibrational frequencies.
Throughout the rest of the lunch we made small talk and I grappled with the guilt that was plaguing me….a good friend would just give it, don’t be too attached to your things, he’s gonna hate me forever.
But I just couldn’t go against the feeling in the deepest part of me. My intuition.
My intuition has gotten really loud this past year. It’s probably because I’m deep in my spiritual practice. Most of my work with private clients is using my intuition. To channel the messages they need to hear. To guide them to their best life.
I’ve worked hard to hear my inner voice. Just 4 years ago as a corporate banker in New York City, I would’ve done anything to hear the messages of my Higher Self.
But my mind was Too. Damn. Loud.
And never mind just hearing it. The hard part is trusting it. And listening when it goes against what will make you popular.
I’ve also learned that when you don’t listen, the Universe slaps you hard.
The car will break down. The coffee will spill. The investment will turn out to be a scam. It’s like your Higher Self saying, “Hey! I told you so, but you didn’t wanna listen.”
However the cookie crumbles, there are always signs and most of the time we’re not listening.
The heart and soul of you is guiding you in every moment. The heart’s language is the essence of You. Life flows easefully, gracefully, and miraculously when we listen.
The mind is also essential for living on this Earth. The mind is the set of skills that help you get to your dream life – like studying, completing tasks, and setting goals. However, the mind is also responsible for questioning, doubting, and conforming.
So here’s the thing: the mind and the heart must be in sync. For most of us, they are not.
Most of us are too worried about what other people will think or pleasing our parents, friends, society to make our choices based on our heart. We usually steer our lives in a socially acceptable manner, according to our mind.
News flash: Heart centered, wildly successful people don’t give a funk about what other people think. Or even if they do, they’ve learned not to listen to that voice and instead listen to their heart.
Our intuition leads us to our Divine Life Purpose, our Divine Soul Partner, and our Divine Right Life.
For so long, we’ve been conditioned to do what other people expect us to. It takes quiet courage to listen and follow the guidance of our heart.
Many times the guidance is not what other people want to hear but it’s imperative we listen.
When we don’t, we feel anxious, tired, sick, uninspired, and unfulfilled. This is also how our body signals “no.”
When we do listen and when our intuition says “yes”, we get chills, happy tears, and spontaneous smiles cross our face. We feel like we’re floating on a cloud.
So, I stuck to my guns and didn’t lend my car to my friend. Two days later, he banged on my door to pick up his hammock and stormed off in a fit. He was angry. His ego in full throttle.
The difference now to some years ago is that listening to my intuition no matter the outcome felt right to me. I was prepared to deal with the social repercussions because of my strong relationship with myself. We may never speak again, but it’s ok. I’ll let the Universe work it out.
Your heart is always speaking to you. Can you quiet the mind enough the listen? Can you find the courage to follow your heart? I’d love to hear about it. Leave a comment below. I read every single one and they fill my heart!
xoT
Can you give me ways to quite my mind? Love your articles, when I become ungrounded you bring me back. Thanks!!
Thanks
Well, the best way to quiet the mind is to begin and commit to a meditation practice. Check my last blog post for some tips. The mind will start to quiet with consistent awareness of watching the breath and the thoughts. When you bring awareness to the mind, it decreases its hold on you. Yoga helps as well. Thanks for reading and commenting….Next time leave me your name! xoT
I’m recently beginning to understand my intuition. I’m getting feelings and wondering were they come from. It takes a few days but I’ve been figuring it out. I get it completely out and expressed when I write it. (Being a writer and all go figure haha). It’s really great you stuck to your guns. His reaction only confirmed it I feel.
As for courage to follow my heart, it’s slowly coming. I cut down my hours on my corporate job so I have more time to write and practice yoga. I got a work study with my studio out of it and more peace of mind and time to write really well and encourage others. I also won a poetry contest right after I decided (finally) being a writer is what I want to be. I am also going to be a Yoga Instructor.
Courage is slow and coming. There are things I am still fearful of (like finding a writing job) But I will keep going, “Practice and all is coming” Right? xoxo
Yay Rachelle for cutting down on your corporate hours. And even more YAY for finally deciding to do what you LOVE. That’s your beautiful intuition guiding you! And you’re following the guidance….courage! I love it. Fear is normal, just notice it, check in, and choose a loving thought instead. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Stay in touch. I’d love to know how you’re journey is coming along. xoT
You are right it just takes time for your heart to speak to your mind and not let the words of others steer you in a direction that is just “socially acceptable.” I have found that usually our parents are right so sometimes I battle with learning the lesson the hard way or listening to them because they have been through so much and learned the hard way. <3 love reading your blogs I feel as though you write them when I need them!
Thank you darling, Ellen. You’re right that our parents are right so much of the time (more than we’d like to admit), but many times they have an idea of how our life should look like…it’s important for us to listen in to ourselves always. Thank you again for reading and commenting….I love to know you’re enjoying my posts. Love!
I recently had a similar experience and I have to say that the Universe presented me with this blog at the right time. My family is going through a lot right now with a family member’s passing and another family member’s serious illness all happening at the same time and within a matter of less than three weeks.
My sister often does not temper her words, she does not observe how people around her are feeling, and does and says things that are very harsh and disrespectful of others around her. She has lately been calling me and calling my mother expressing her harsh judgments on how each of us is dealing with this unexpected loss and unexpected illness. She says things like “our family is fucked up” if we don’t mourn or perceive the way that she wants us to.
Finally, I decided that I needed to address this behavior. I was scared to do it. I did not want to do it. But due to the fragile emotional state of everyone else around me, I felt like I was the only one who could do it. I determined that the best way to speak with her was by email, and in a very kind and loving way. I thanked her for all that she has done to support and give love to everyone during this difficult time. I tried to echo how I perceive her to be feeling and acknowledge her process. Then I gently explained to her how her words and actions are affecting others and asked her to just try to observe what she says and does to see if she could see any ways that maybe we could all lift one another up during this time.
I did my best to be kind and be loving. I asked my Spirit for guidance and the words flowed to the best of my ability. I have not heard back from her, nor do I really expect to. The ego tries to take over and make me feel guilty…. to make me feel like I did the wrong thing, that I should not have said anything, that maybe I am NOT serving the highest purpose in this situation. However, I know with my intuition that this is not true.
As I stumbled across this blog post (and just you in general– we have a lot in common, I was a lawyer in the US and left it to live my dreams in Mexico– I am sure I will connect with you about this another time), I feel reassured. I feel that the Universe has guided me here with the gentle reminder that I followed my intuition and I did the right thing. It is not always easy to do the right thing, and there can be consequences with it. But I am learning that I cannot live avoiding my Truth because of what I perceive could bring me pain or discomfort. I am learning to let go of the outcome and follow my Spirit. It is a daily practice, a moment by moment practice, but I feel stronger in it every day…. especially when I have been so reassured by the Universe in this special way.
Thank you for your openness and willing to share your journey.
Much love,
Alexandra
Ally! Would you believe that I’m just reading this now?! You mentioned it on our call yesterday and I was so surprised because it didn’t ring a bell, and I find it so unusual that I didn’t get an email about this comment. I love this story and how you were divinely and “gently” guided to this blog post to reassure your stance. Thank you so much for sharing your story and being so honest and vulnerable with me. A true seeker. Lots of love, bonita xoT