I was interested in psychology and self-help. I think this came from my personal pain of growing up in an alcoholic family.
I started going to teen support groups, reading religious and inspirational texts and literature related to the effects of such family — I was learning how to survive.
And I had a deep longing to share what I was learning with those who didn’t know.
But those interests were tempered by this need to survive, financially. I grew up in Connecticut, a predominantly affluent place, and money seemed like the important thing to pursue.
I would hear frequently, “Money doesn’t grow on trees” and “Money’s not everything, but it’s right up there with oxygen.”
My mom struggled, however successfully, to raise us as a single parent. My parents were immigrants from Ireland and the most thing they wanted was for us to have a better life — which meant more financial security.
Through the confusion of deciding what to study in college, I was also working part-time in office jobs — real estate, financial trading houses, and internet companies. After months of deliberation, I decided that studying psychology or social work wouldn’t get me to money. And money is where I had learned I should be, and where I wanted to be at that time.
So I studied Economics. I struggled to get through my major. There was a day that a tenured professor looked at me in a private tutor session of an advanced Econ class and said that maybe I should change my major.
If I had known about intuition or “signs” then, I would’ve listened. I would’ve known that this clearly wasn’t the path for me.
Struggling is not the path of your heart.